Contrary to popular belief, grief is not one single emotion (e.g. sadness), but rather the processing of all emotions associated with a loss.

Since loss is such an individual experience, it's hard to say why it's so difficult to deal with. For some people, the passing of a loved one may be the first time they've experienced loss. For others, it may be the most recent in a string of losses.

And for some, the loss may be so sudden and unexpected that they don't have time to prepare for it.

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first proposed the stages of grief in 1969. The five stages she proposed are:

1. Denial: The unwillingness to admit that the loss has occurred.

2. Anger: The feeling of betrayal towards the person who was lost.

3. Bargaining: The attempt to return things to the way they were before the loss.

4. Depression: The feeling of hopelessness that comes with accepting the loss.

5. Acceptance: The understanding that the loss is final and that life must go on.

There are many things you can do to cope with your grief. Some people find it helpful to talk about their experiences, while others prefer to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Some people find solace in their religious or spiritual beliefs, while others find comfort in nature. And some people find that their hobbies or interests help them to cope with their grief.

Whatever you do, ensure you're taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

What is the difference between grief and mourning?

Grief is the emotional response to loss. Mourning is the process of coping with that loss.

Mourning is often done in public, with rituals such as funerals or memorial services. Grief, on the other hand, is often a more private experience.

Because grief is not one emotion, but the processing of all emotions, the grieving experience can often feel like a roller coaster. Some days emotions are very dramatic, I.e. a crippling sadness that makes it difficult to even do the smallest of tasks. Other days, emotions are non-existent or they “run in the background” of life, much like a phone application that is on but not used, still draining battery power. These experiences can make someone feel like they’re losing control, or “going crazy.” The reality is, it’s quite normal to feel the ups and downs when processing a loss.

Grief, doubt, and struggle are some of the central themes in all religions. Being devout, faithful, or spiritual does not exempt you from experiencing the weight of a crushing loss. There are many sacred scriptures throughout human history that document the difficulty and despair that comes when we lose something. Often taking the form of poetry and music, human beings have found a healing release when they are free to voice their lament.

Time is certainly a factor when grieving the death of a loved one, but there is no universal timeline for grief. Time, in and of itself, does not heal; however, time is the landscape on which healing takes place. The hope is that with each passing year, we learn to gradually accept the reality of the loss. It’s important to note, acceptance is not “moving on” or “forgetting the past.” Acceptance is an act of re-imagining life, integrating the beauty of the past with the emerging good of the future.

Grief is a uniquely individual experience, and therefore looks different for each person. You’ve probably heard it said, “There is no ‘wrong way’ to grieve.” In many ways this is very true. It’s easy for us to judge others and ourselves when we fall into the trap of comparison. Comparison says that there is a standard to be met; and in the world of grief and loss, nothing could be further from the truth.

A common experience of people who grieve is often the feeling of isolation, or aloneness. Support groups are a great resource for grieving persons. They create a sense of connection with other people who are experiencing similar emotions, normalizing the overall process, while validating the individual journey. Support groups also serve as a safe space to ask questions and offer insight and wisdom.